Let’s face it – sometimes we just need to whack ourselves with a wake-up call in order to take ourselves to a higher level of performance. Or for that matter, our leadership teams, our employees or even our suppliers and partners. We can only be the best if we are constantly challenging ourselves.

Interestingly, many successful entrepreneurs experienced really tough times when they were getting started, hitting major rough patches along the way. Yet, once they become successful, most of these entrepreneurs hesitate in giving the same gift of painful experiences that shaped them into who they are today to those around them. In fact, parents often fall into the same trap. The consequences of insulating our future generations from what I call the 2 x 4 School of Leadership are massive. Instead of teaching our next batch of leaders how to overcome the inevitable struggles of business and deal with major obstacles, we are equipping them with poor business survival and leadership skills.

The problem is rooted in our beliefs about pain, and more specifically that pain is bad and something to be avoided. Granted, we can’t help ourselves because we are hard-wired to avoid pain and instead seek pleasure.  Some people may get pleasure from experiencing pain, but that only represents a small percent of the population. For the rest of us, although pain is what made us better, smarter or faster, we forget that and instinctively we want to protect others from it. However, because we would rather protect people, we are actually holding them back from benefiting from the best teacher on the planet and being their best.

When was the last time you convened a class in the 2 x 4 School of Leadership to help push people to be their best? Use these three lessons to give our future leaders the skills they need (and that we all learned) to lead.

1. Let them fall

Sometimes we need to let our employees make a really big (but not life-threatening) mistake. I’m sure the bigger challenge is going to be having the courage to watch this happen from the sidelines knowing they will fail, but it’s honestly the only way we can let our employees:

  • Take risks to help move the company forward; and
  • Have the confidence to know that if they fail, they will only fail further if they don’t learn from their mistakes.

Make sure that after they fall on their face and dust themselves off that you mentor them on the lessons they need to learn and apply next time.

2. Push them over the edge

If you have an employee or leader that you know is capable of so much more — even more than they know — give them a project that is well beyond anything they’ve done before. Provide clear expectations and a deadline, and let them go for it while you avoid the temptation to help. If they look like they are going to fall flat, remember lesson #1. If they succeed, celebrate and acknowledge what they achieved. Don’t forget to acknowledge anyone else who helped them succeed too.

3. Whack them with the proverbial 2 x 4

Sometimes people need a real wake-up call to reach their next level of performance. However, in our efforts to be nice, respective and supportive to those we work with, we often hold them back by not giving them the direct, honest feedback that would benefit them the most. In fact, we may keep the peace by not telling them what’s not working, but we drastically limit their growth and potential. If you are working with someone who is not meeting your expectations but that you believe has potential, take the leap and whack them with some downright honest feedback. Specifically,

  • Tell them what you would really like them to do to meet your expectations, without holding back;
  • Indicate why you have confidence in their ability to succeed; and
  • Create a measurable, action-oriented plan and agree to mutually monitor progress on a regular basis.

The key here is to tell them the truth. If they are an A-player, they will take the feedback and certainly step up to the opportunity. B-players will be inspired by your confidence and ideally aspire to your expectations but they may need extra reinforcement along the way. C-players will attempt to rise to the challenge at first but may inevitably slip back to sub-standard performance. That’s okay too. At least your expectations are clear and understood, making it easier for C-players to potentially realize on their own that their career future is probably not with your company.

Obviously, the intent of each of these lessons is to give your high potential employees experiences that will make their best leadership characteristics shine brightly.

Coach Kevin’s Challenge:

Think about your life to date. What experiences have you had that helped you to grow and improve, and who gave you that gift? Remember the lessons that delivered what you learned along the way.

  1. Let them fall
  2. Push them toward or over the edge
  3. Whack them with the proverbial 2 x 4

Think about how these lessons helped you. Make sure to thank your mentors and then pay it forward for the benefit of our future leaders.